HOLD ON TO YOUR UNDERWEAR

            I am proud to announce that I am the first person ever to survive getting their wisdom teeth out. HURRAH! The doctor said my eyes were open and I was staring at him the entire surgery which must have been freaky for him, but I’m sure he is used to it. I have memory of him with his foot on my forehead and a monkey wrench on my tooth just pulling really hard. “GET OUT YOU MOTHER FUCKER” And the nurses with their arms wrapped around his waist for further leverage. He took out three wisdom teeth. (I thought he was only going to take out two, so there is going to be a lawsuit in the near future.) I was high after it was over, still under the effects of anesthesia, novacane, and nitrous oxade. My parents brought me home, which I don’t remember and I laid in bed, taking oxycontin every three hours.

        I watched a lot of movies: Strangers On A Train, (which I had never seen and loved), French Connection, which I am obsessed with, and What Lies Beneath, which I stand by as pretty good movie. Plus I’d let Pffeifer play my fife ANYDAY! HAHAHA! Today, the pain is better than yesterday. But my cheeks are more swollen. Dare I say  I look like one of those old classic bloated beauties from the black and white movie pictures! I just wanted to let the joyous news be spread that I am alive and eating a lot of sugar free jello. I still can’t eat anything solid yet, which is a huge set back for me since my favorite foods are gravel and tar. (HAHAHA!)  Some good have come out of taking all these drugs though. For Instance, I’ve been singing “She Drives Me Crazy” by the Fine Young Cannibals constantly, BUT I switched out “CRAZY” With “CRAY- CRAY” to update the song for this wondrous, modern generation.

  ”SHE DRIVES ME CRAY-CRAY” by Bridey Elliott

“A new single that will surely flip your lid and have you breathing hard into your own underpants.”

-says SOURCE

mattdwyer:

This is a great episode. I converse with two Marijuana Civil Defense lawyers and get a highly different and interesting view than we hear out there in the mainstream world. Lawyers Raza Lawrence and Allison Margolin are engaging funny and really great. I’m super proud of this episode. Enjoy the shit out of it. FREE! on itunes or go to this link

http://feralaudio.com/3-margolin-lawrence/